Push, Pull, or Surrender: When the Job Market Stops Working for You, Maybe It's Time to Work for Yourself
Updated: 3 days ago
“Everyone wants a great career, but don’t miss your life on the way to work.”
John McEnroe
Across the globe, countless experienced professionals are facing the realities of today's job market: hundreds of applications, automated screenings, endless interview rounds, and months of silence. They're doing everything they're told to do and still struggling to find an opportunity.
After more than a year of navigating this exhausting cycle myself, I've realized that employment isn't always a straightforward reflection of your talent, experience, or value.
Timing, luck, and increasingly impersonal hiring systems play a role, too.
For some, the answer is to reconsider what work could look like outside the traditional employment model. What if instead of desperately searching for a place in someone else's organization, we create more opportunities to work on your own terms?
Self-employment isn't easy or an automatic path to financial stability. But freelancing, consulting, contract work, and portfolio careers offer alternatives worth exploring—particularly for experienced professionals whose skills don't fit neatly into conventional job descriptions.
You don't have to abandon your job search or romanticize entrepreneurship to consider another path. You simply have to give yourself permission to imagine a different way of working, one that offers greater agency, flexibility, and alignment with the life you want to build.
Instead of asking how to become a better candidate, let's rethink the way we build careers altogether.
If funding fell through, if priorities shifted, if entire teams were cut; that’s not a reflection of your worth. You did your job. You executed. You delivered. You showed up. You didn’t fail. The business model did. The budget did. The leadership did. The strategy did.. Take what you’ve built, take what you’ve learned, and keep going.
The upside of exiting the rat race or hamster wheel is clarity and wisdom. You will realize what you really want and need to be happy, what's worth sacrificing for.
Self-Employment isn't Always By Choice
After you have been searching for work for months or even years, eventually you hit a wall. You stop believing it's a "You" problem, and start trusting it's a systems problem.
You are no longer interested in chasing, modifying, questioning, asking, bending over backwards trying to become "more desirable" to employers.
You decide to throw in the towel on the search for traditional employment, and pivot relunctantly, begrudingly, and unenthusiastically, to something else:
Starting businesses.
Freelancing.
Building consulting practices.
Taking fractional roles.
Returning to school.
Changing industries.
Pursuing creative work they've postponed for years.
This is not their first choice, but suddenly seems like their only choice.
Layoffs can be a total shock to your system. Most of us assume that "making it" in means having a stable job, and the more prestigious and ambitious the better.
The Psychological Cost of Unemployment
The emotional toll of unemployment is enormous. Exhaustion, depression from on-going uncertainty, repeated rejection will test your emotional limits, and is often more than one person is meant to sustain.
Long-term unemployment is not only a significant source of psychological stress, but also financial stress. If unemployment benefits run out or when savings and other financial resources become exhausted, it can quickly become a housing and financial crisis.
There is something uniquely destabilizing about repeatedly asking another person, another company, another algorithm to determine whether you are worthy of earning a living.
At first, you assume you must be doing something wrong. You wonder if your documents and profiles are professional enough, polished enough? You also wonder if you're overqualified, or underqualified. You begin questioning your experience, your age, your abilities, your career choices, your education and even your fundamental value.
Determined to not give up, you get back to work...
You secure more certifications
You attend more trainings.
You rewrite the resume.
You rebuild the portfolio.
You tailor the cover letter.
You optimize your profile for search.
You ask former colleagues for referrals.
You message recruiters.
You complete unpaid assignments.
You take interviews on weekends.
You learn the intricacies of every ATS.
You figure out which formatting an ATS can actually parse.
You translate normal language into elaborate "corporate speak"
You apply through every link, address and portal you can find.
Eventually, the job search itself becomes a full-time job. Exhausting is an understatement.
The worst part: the longer you search, the easier it becomes to interpret the system's silence as a reflection of yourself.
When the system no longer provides a reliable path to employment, more and more people are beginning to rethink what “career security” actually means.This dysfunctional, hyper-competitive job market is building a new generation of creative entrepreneurs because at the end of the day, humans are resilient.
"Hope shows up when systems keep their promises. Hopelessness shows up when they dont. Far too many people are living in that second reality. If you feel discouraged you are responding normally ot ery absornam circumstances. None of this is normal."
Caroline Waltzman
Reminder: when systems fail all we have is eachother, and our Community. We must share and distribute our resources- offering housing, food, networking, encouragement, and introductions when we have them.
Some people genuinely want to be entrepreneurs. Others feel pushed or pulled toward it because the traditional employment system isn't giving them another viable option.
The romantic version of entrepreneurship says: “I quit my job to follow my dreams.” The reality for many people is closer to: “I couldn't get another job, so I had to figure out what else I could do to make ends meet.”
The Involuntary Entrepreneur
There are plenty of people (ME!) who have dreamed of starting a business but were too smart (err, risk-averse) to leave stable employment.
But someimes the universe had other plans in mind. Maybe they got laid off. Their contract ended. Their employer was acquired. Or they stopped wanting to make sacrifices and compromises for their employer.
Suddenly, after years of avoidance and resistance, the circumstances change enough that self-employment became more of an option worth considering.
That doesn't mean that decision came easy. Far from it, in fact.
Uncertain futures
Inconsistent income
Quarterly taxes
Out of pocket healthcare costs
Administrative work,
Self-Promotion
Financial planning
The constant pressure and responsibility of generating a profit
Thankfully, there is something entrepreneurship can provide that a traditional job search cannot: complete agency and autonomy.
It's no wonder more and more professionals are boycotting the traditional job-search process. They're stepping back from applications, networking, calls, and interviews to explore other ways of generating income, like selling their skills. They're asking, “What do I know how to do? What problems can I solve? What options can I create? And what kind of work can support the life I actually want?”
Nietzche said Amor fati, "love of fate," meaning embracing everything that happens rather than wishing it different.
All we can do is the best we can do. Do the best you can, where you are, with what you have.
Start Where You Are
If you're being pushed (or pulled) toward self-employment, you don't necessarily need to invent an entirely new career from zero.
Your existing expertise, credentials, experience and relationships all matter tremendously.
Start by examining your needs, resources, and values closely:
What do I want?
Who do I want to work with?
What kind of environment do I work best?
What do I already know how to do?
Who do I know that can help me build?
Who needs that expertise?
What problems can I solve?
What kind of work do I actually enjoy?
How much money do I need to earn?
What am I no longer willing to tolerate?
How many clients would I need?
How many hours do I want to work?
Do I want recurring clients or one-off projects?
Do I want to work online, locally, or both?
Do I want to build a team or fly solo?
What kind of work and life fits me best?
What can I create for myself if the traditional path isn't working?
Stop asking “How do I convince someone to hire me to do work that benefits them? and start asking "How can I convince someone to choose me to do work that benefits both of us?"
There is not one perfect job that will protect you forever. But a portfolio of skills, relationships, income sources and options gives you somewhere to turn when circumstances change. THAT is true career security.
Redefining Security & Stability
For generations, we were taught to think about security and stability primarily through traditional employment.
A good job.
A steady paycheck.
Benefits.
Retirement.
Community
Collaboration
A sense of pride and purpose
A clear career trajectory.
But if the last several years have taught many workers anything, it's that a W-2 is not the perfect, almighty solution that it's cracked up to be.
A company can restructure.
Funding can disappear.
A department can be eliminated.
A merger can change everything.
A hurricane can shut down an organization.
A CEO can change priorities.
An entire industry can transform.
“Tell me, what is it you plan to do / with your one wild and precious life?”
Mary Oliver
Let's stop treating employment as the only legitimate form of professional security.
Security does not just come from employment. It can come from many other places, including:
knowing how to create value independently.
maintaining relationships outside your employer.
having a professional reputation that follows you.
knowing how to find clients.
having multiple skills.
maintaining a small side business.
building savings or investments.
having a strong personal and professional network.
knowing that if one door closes, you have other doors you can open.
There are so many Service-based businesses that can be built around capabilities you already possess.
Reminder: employment and entrepreneurship are not mutually exclusive identities. You can have a full-time job and a small business. You can freelance while searching for employment. You can take fractional work while pursuing a permanent role.You can consult part-time. You can build a side business slowly.You can create multiple income streams at once.
Measuring Your Worth
Stop internalizing every negative outcome. A rejection, a layoff, an employment gap isn't evidence of anything "wrong" with you.
Sometimes the job market is terrible
Sometimes business model failed.
Sometimes the funding disappeared.
Sometimes priorities changed.
Sometimes there were 500 qualified applicants.
Sometimes the company already had an internal candidate.
Sometimes an algorithm screened you out.
Sometimes another person simply happened to be a slightly better fit.
Sometimes it's timing.
Sometimes it's luck.
And sometimes the system is simply broken.
That doesn't mean you stop trying. Keep showing up and doing your best, whatever that looks like that day.
"Fate leads the willing, and drags along the unwilling."
Seneca
The future of work isn't about finding one perfect position and holding onto it forever. It's about building enough skills, relationships, reputation, creativity and courage that you have more than one way forward.
Affirmations To Support Your Journey
My professional identity is bigger than my job title.
I am allowed to evolve beyond the role or identity I once held.
My worth does not fluctuate with my employment status.
I do not need an employer's validation or approval to recognize my own value.
Success means creating work that supports the life I actually want.
I choose work that is sustainable, meaningful, and aligned with my values.
Stability can mean having options, not just having one employer.
I am not limited to the opportunities someone else offers me.
I can do whatever I set my mind to, even if it's scary or uncomfortable at first
I can create opportunities as well as pursue them.
I don't have to spend my entire career waiting to be chosen.
I am capable of creating my own path, and my next chapter does not have to look like my last one.
There is more than one way forward.
My existing skills and experience are valuable foundations for what comes next.
I trust myself to recognize opportunities that fit me.
I am allowed to pursue work on my own terms.
I don't need to know exactly where I'm going to take the next meaningful step.
A rejection is protection, not a reflection on my worth.
I do not have to internalize a broken system.
I am not behind. I am not “expired.” I am not too much, too little, or too different.
I can be discerning about where I give my time, energy, and talent.
Reinvention is adaptation.
My career can contain chapters, experiments, pivots, and unexpected turns.
I am allowed to outgrow an old definition of success
My career is a part of my life—not the measure of my life.
I do not have to know exactly where I am going to take the next step.
Clarity emerges through time, experimentation, action, and experience.
I can change direction, learn new skills, explore self-employment, return to employment, or combine multiple paths at one. There is more than one way to earn a living.
I do not need to figure out a perfect plan. One application, one conversation, one new skill can help discover my next move and open doors I cannot yet see.
I am allowed to grieve what I have lost, take my time, and find my footing before moving forward.
I am more resourceful than I realize. I draw on my experience, creativity, relationships, and adaptability to navigate change.
Being fired, laid off, rejected, or overlooked does not define my identity, capabilities or future.
When it comes to important stuff, Time isn't real. I release the pressure and urgency of timelines and trust what's meant for me finds me exactly when its supposted to
I am both practical and hopeful. I am pursuing meaningful work and stable income while paying bills and protecting my energy for the future
My next opportunity will be a better fit. I have learned from experience which environments, expectations, and working conditions allow me to thrive.
I am letting this difficult chapter of chage, growth, wisdom-building, and resiliency building unfold
I am quantum leaping into the next chapter that is brighter and better than I can ever imagine
Be gentle with yourself. You're living through widespread institutional failure, while being expected to be function as if everything is normal. It's ok to not be ok.
There's an old saying,“Necessity is the mother of Invention, and Desperation is the father of Brilliance.” In this economy, it couldn’t be more true.
The reality: Mid-career women are being pushed out of the workforce in record numbers. And still, we rise.
What's Next
If you're in the thick of a job search and feeling "better than worst" or "fine but not ok", you're not alone.
Try as we might, the job market is not something we can control. If you’ve spent months applying, interviewing, networking, and waiting, trust that your time is coming, someday.
In the meantime: Improvise, Adapt, Overcome. The solution is not, "try harder." Instead, Try sustainably. Try authentically. Carry a glimmer of hope forward.
You don’t have to figure it all out at once. You can start by getting curious about what you already know, what you’re good at, what matters to you, and what kind of working life you actually want to create.
Maybe the next chapter is a different kind of role, a side business, freelance work, or some combination you haven’t considered yet. There isn’t one right answer—and you don’t have to force yourself into someone else’s definition of success.
You get to build a professional life that fits the life you want to live. If you’re ready to explore what that could look like, start with the skills, experience, ideas, and possibilities you already have. Your next chapter awaits, and it may be even better than you can imagine.
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
Eleanor Roosevelt
Erin Ratliff is a holistic marketing mentor and creative consultant specializing in organic growth + visibility for heart-led soul-preneurs who value personal and planetary health.
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